I've started a Beth Moore study online with her new book So Long Insecurity you've been a bad friend. I was really thinking that I wasn't insecure but would do the study anyway. What was I thinking?? Of course, I have insecurities, and they all have to do with men. Yes, men. Ok 98 percent is because of men. I have known this but didn't put it down as insecurity until I read the first few chapters. I am so use to men that I have been in relationships with treating me bad that when I do meet someone that is nice I don't like them, I'm not attracted to them. You know what I'm talking about if you have been in abusive relationships. You get in a comfort zone. You know what's going to happen, there are no surprises. You think that's what's suppose to happen. I have even went to counseling for this very thing. But it didn't take!
I have met 2 men (Danny and Monty) in the last year that were the opposite of what I was use to. They were nice guys. I'm not saying they were perfect. But nice. Treated me great. Nothing like what I was use to. So in all my insecurities I couldn't take it. I couldn't like someone like that or be attracted to someone that was going to treat me right. So what did I do. I ran as fast as I could. That's right. Broke up with one of them and stopped seeing one before it could get started. And did this under the disguise of Danny suffocating me and Monty not feeling it. I went looking for Andre'. Yes, Andre' my love, that one that I was comfortable with. There's that comfort zone again. Doctor, Doctor where are you?? That's crazy sounding I know. But if you have ever been there you know what I'm saying.
When I'm thinking normal, without my insecurities blaring at me, I think about Danny and Monty. Wondering why I couldn't have given them a chance? Why couldn't I have enjoyed a relationship with someone that treated me like I was someone special? Oh yea I'm insecure. That's the reason. But no more!! I'm ticked. I'm a scorned woman!So long Bad Friend!
Yes, I'm ready to say goodby. God prepares the way for us. God was preparing me for this book. Oh how He was preparing me. Nothing is by accident. It's destined. God knew I had to go through what I did with Andre' and what happened that last time we say each other to get to this point where I could read this book and know it was for me.
2 comments:
I read your comment on the LPM blog about the book. I just wanted to tell you that I admire you for your transparency. I can tell God is doing something HUGE in your life. I'm excited for you! Anyway, just wanted to stop by to encourage you to stick with it! I'm just a stranger to you, but I think God is smiling down on you for your obedience! Nice meeting you!
Love,
Angie in Michigan xoxo
(Once divorced, could have been again, but God caught my attention! I'm now happily re-married and God is at the center of my life!)
Thank you Angie for the encouragement. That was so good to read. God is amazing! and has done amazing things in my life. I just need to keep my eyes on Him and trust Him completely. I'm so glad that you are happily re-married and God is the center of your life.
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