A week ago my prince charming rode up on a motorcycle and spent 24 hours with me.
After not seeing him for 8 years I didn't know how it would be to see him.
How would we react to actually seeing each other?
Would we still be attracted to each other?
Would we enjoy each others company?
Would it be awkward?
Was the feelings I had for him just made up in my mind?
Fairy Tales do come true and I'm living one!
I thought Fairy Tales were just made up.
For someone else not me.
I cannot tell you how good it was to see him.
It was just like in the movies: the couple runs to each other, hugs, kisses and hangs on for dear life!
Okay it wasn't exactly like that but oh so close!
But Oh My Gosh it was like finally being with my soul mate.
I had missed him so and didn't even realize how much until I saw him.
He thought of me often and I of him over those eight years.
We couldn't stop kissing each other, smiling, hugging, touching, starring into each others eyes.
And all of that before he even got off his motorcycle!
I was so afraid I was going to wake up and it be a dream.
But no my prince charming, my soul mate was finally here.
Fairy Tales do come true!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Independence Day!!
July 4th!
Independence Day! I love this holiday. Next to Christmas it is my favorite. I love decorating the house with Red, White and Blue. I have a cd that has patrotic songs on it that I play until they tell me to put something else in! Our freedom means so much!
This year Grayson wanted to decorate the house, she also made flag decorations. Even Braxton was making flags! Steve cooked hamburgers and hotdogs. And oh my gosh the hot dogs were so good!! We swam in the pool and the kids did smoke bombs and sparklers. When it got dark enough Steve shot of the fireworks!! They were amazing. We had them all around us! What a nite! The weather was perfect. The wind had died down and it didn't start to rain until we were finish.
So proud to be American!!
Independence Day! I love this holiday. Next to Christmas it is my favorite. I love decorating the house with Red, White and Blue. I have a cd that has patrotic songs on it that I play until they tell me to put something else in! Our freedom means so much!
This year Grayson wanted to decorate the house, she also made flag decorations. Even Braxton was making flags! Steve cooked hamburgers and hotdogs. And oh my gosh the hot dogs were so good!! We swam in the pool and the kids did smoke bombs and sparklers. When it got dark enough Steve shot of the fireworks!! They were amazing. We had them all around us! What a nite! The weather was perfect. The wind had died down and it didn't start to rain until we were finish.
So proud to be American!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Dreaded Friday
Today my boss drove down from the city to spend the day with me. At 5:45pm she gave me a pay cut! Yes, a pay cut! I've worked for this company for three years and never have received a raise. Was I expecting a pay cut? Yes, unfortunatley, I knew it was bound to happen or close the doors. Business has decreased. So down that in April she let our marketer go. Now I do the scheduler, marketer, on call and my job as director for less pay. It didn't help when she also told me I had to let the weekend oncall girl go which is my daughter. I worried more about her than me. I told myself that's why you don't have family work for you. When something like this happens it almost more than you can bear. You never want your child to hurt or want no matter how old they are.
Of course, I cried a few tears on my way home thinking how will we survive?? But then I realized it's done and I have to give it God. It's out of my hands. He is in control.
There are people worse off than me!
I have a job!
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7
Charales Spurgeon said:
God is too good to be unkind.
He is too wise to be confusedl
If I cannot trace His hand I can
Always trust His heart.
Julie Clinton said:
Time is a commodity, and we as women have to make the most of it. God's got your life in the palm of His hand and in His heart. If you wait patiently for His plan to unfold, for His dream for you to be revealed, you can live and walk in the confidence of knowing He is with you every step of the way.
Most of the time I cause the pain I go through. I'm not patient, I can't wait, I can't trust, Hurry, Hurry seems to be my motto! Several, several months ago I told Andre I wanted to get back to the basics. A couple of weeks ago I told Starla I wanted to get back to the basics. Now, exactly what about the basics I was referring to I'm not sure. I just knew I wanted to slow down and enjoy life more. Maybe I was tired, wanting someone to take care of me for once. No, that wasn't it but it did cross my mind. Ok a lot since I'm getting older. They both asked me what the "basics were". I'm still not sure. I just know that I have to step back and let God have complete control of my life. One thing I have learned that God has a way of preparing us for what is going to happen. He started preparing me when I was talking about the basics.
Of course, I cried a few tears on my way home thinking how will we survive?? But then I realized it's done and I have to give it God. It's out of my hands. He is in control.
There are people worse off than me!
I have a job!
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7
Charales Spurgeon said:
God is too good to be unkind.
He is too wise to be confusedl
If I cannot trace His hand I can
Always trust His heart.
Julie Clinton said:
Time is a commodity, and we as women have to make the most of it. God's got your life in the palm of His hand and in His heart. If you wait patiently for His plan to unfold, for His dream for you to be revealed, you can live and walk in the confidence of knowing He is with you every step of the way.
Most of the time I cause the pain I go through. I'm not patient, I can't wait, I can't trust, Hurry, Hurry seems to be my motto! Several, several months ago I told Andre I wanted to get back to the basics. A couple of weeks ago I told Starla I wanted to get back to the basics. Now, exactly what about the basics I was referring to I'm not sure. I just knew I wanted to slow down and enjoy life more. Maybe I was tired, wanting someone to take care of me for once. No, that wasn't it but it did cross my mind. Ok a lot since I'm getting older. They both asked me what the "basics were". I'm still not sure. I just know that I have to step back and let God have complete control of my life. One thing I have learned that God has a way of preparing us for what is going to happen. He started preparing me when I was talking about the basics.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Yesterday
Yesterday we buried my 25 yr old cousin Josh.
A young life snuffed out with so much more to do!
Josh left behind a wife and 2 boys 2 and 3 mos.
It was so hard to see his mother and dad cry. There heart was so broken!
My aunt Joann, Josh's grandmother, collasped at the casket.
His wife was in shock. So young to be a widow.
Two little boys left without their daddy. Will the memory of their daddy be kept alive for them?
None of us know how or when our life will end.
We need to remember each day to Thank God, love our families, and be kind to one another.
A young life snuffed out with so much more to do!
Josh left behind a wife and 2 boys 2 and 3 mos.
It was so hard to see his mother and dad cry. There heart was so broken!
My aunt Joann, Josh's grandmother, collasped at the casket.
His wife was in shock. So young to be a widow.
Two little boys left without their daddy. Will the memory of their daddy be kept alive for them?
None of us know how or when our life will end.
We need to remember each day to Thank God, love our families, and be kind to one another.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Bowling
I have not bowled in years on a league! Did I say years?? I decided to bowl with some friends on a bowling league this summer. It's called 10 for 10. Which means you bowl 10 weeks and at the end of the summer you get a bowling ball. I am not good at commitments. 10 weeks! I dunno if I can do it.
The first week I did pretty good considering I hadn't bowled in awhile. I set an average of 147 and then the next week bombed big time. Dropped my average to 125. To bowl in a league you really should have your own shoes and a ball. Well,Tamara gave me a pair of bowling shoes the first nite so I only have half of an excuse. The third week I bowled with mom's ball and did much better. I even had a 187. We will see tonite if using mom's ball was what I needed!!
The first week I did pretty good considering I hadn't bowled in awhile. I set an average of 147 and then the next week bombed big time. Dropped my average to 125. To bowl in a league you really should have your own shoes and a ball. Well,Tamara gave me a pair of bowling shoes the first nite so I only have half of an excuse. The third week I bowled with mom's ball and did much better. I even had a 187. We will see tonite if using mom's ball was what I needed!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Surprise Email
I received an email from someone I hadn't heard from in 8 years. It was a pleasant surpise. KLENT.
Klent Harkness. Tina and I both became acquainted with Klent before we went on Free Wheel in 2001. Klent had asked about FW on their web site. We both emailed him and actually got to meet him on FW that year and rode with him some. Klent later would come and do a couple of rides with Tina and I.
Tina and Klent continued with their friendship through the years. Because of something stupid that had happen I had stopped riding and communicating with either one for several years. Funny how we let the little things come between friendships. I got over or forgot about it and started hanging with Tina again a couple of years ago.
Interesting to hear from after all these years. I didn't realize until I got his email how much I had missed him!
Klent Harkness. Tina and I both became acquainted with Klent before we went on Free Wheel in 2001. Klent had asked about FW on their web site. We both emailed him and actually got to meet him on FW that year and rode with him some. Klent later would come and do a couple of rides with Tina and I.
Tina and Klent continued with their friendship through the years. Because of something stupid that had happen I had stopped riding and communicating with either one for several years. Funny how we let the little things come between friendships. I got over or forgot about it and started hanging with Tina again a couple of years ago.
Interesting to hear from after all these years. I didn't realize until I got his email how much I had missed him!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Full Moon and Jim Sweeney
Tonite 12 of us went to Full Moon on Cherry Street, ate dinner and listened to Jim Sweeney. I hadn't heard Jim Sweeney since 1995 when James and I would go listened to him and dance the nite away! He still sounded good and looked good. Several songs made you want to get up dance but our big table was on the dance floor. :( So much fun being with friends.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Memorial Weekend
Memorial Weekend a time to remember loved ones.
My Brother:
Gosh how I miss you! Many times I think of things I want to tell you. Teddy you were the best brother a girl could have asked for. We miss you bubie!
My Dad:
I miss you dad! I would have loved for you to have been able to see all your grandchildren. You would have been so proud of Derek playing football and Samantha playing softball You wouldn't have missed a game! Dad, I wish you could have met Grayson and Braxton. Grayson is Lori's little girl. What would you have thought of our little brown girl?? You would have loved her and been so proud, I know. Braxton is Tiffany's miracle baby and he is very special to all of us. He makes us laugh and so happy! We think about you often.
My Grandma:
I miss you more than you will ever know. You were the one that gave me so much. You taught me about our Jesus. You were one special lady, Grandma! I Love You!
My Stepdad:
I miss you also. You were the one that raised me from the time I was 6 mos. The one I called Dad!
You were so crazy about Chris. You loved Lori and Tiffany but Chris held a special place in your heart because we lived with you for his first 4 years of life. Dad you would be proud of the man he has grown to be.
Granny:
My sweet little granny! Granny you held the Patterson side of the family together. It's not the same without you. Tiffany and I still talk about you. Tiffany misses you very much!
To my other dear family members we love and miss you also.
Mom and I decorated your graves today. Yes, we know your not there but it's how we show you respect. Respect for our loved ones.
My Brother:
Gosh how I miss you! Many times I think of things I want to tell you. Teddy you were the best brother a girl could have asked for. We miss you bubie!
My Dad:
I miss you dad! I would have loved for you to have been able to see all your grandchildren. You would have been so proud of Derek playing football and Samantha playing softball You wouldn't have missed a game! Dad, I wish you could have met Grayson and Braxton. Grayson is Lori's little girl. What would you have thought of our little brown girl?? You would have loved her and been so proud, I know. Braxton is Tiffany's miracle baby and he is very special to all of us. He makes us laugh and so happy! We think about you often.
My Grandma:
I miss you more than you will ever know. You were the one that gave me so much. You taught me about our Jesus. You were one special lady, Grandma! I Love You!
My Stepdad:
I miss you also. You were the one that raised me from the time I was 6 mos. The one I called Dad!
You were so crazy about Chris. You loved Lori and Tiffany but Chris held a special place in your heart because we lived with you for his first 4 years of life. Dad you would be proud of the man he has grown to be.
Granny:
My sweet little granny! Granny you held the Patterson side of the family together. It's not the same without you. Tiffany and I still talk about you. Tiffany misses you very much!
To my other dear family members we love and miss you also.
Mom and I decorated your graves today. Yes, we know your not there but it's how we show you respect. Respect for our loved ones.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Is It Really May??
The last few days it has been cold, rainy and windy.
Tornadoes claimed the life of 5 near Okla City. So sad and the destruction the tornado left.
Today it was suppose to be 83 and tomorrow 63.
I don't see 83 happening.
I'm feeling so blah!! It's probably this dreary weather.
Warm weather, sunshine where are you!?
Tornadoes claimed the life of 5 near Okla City. So sad and the destruction the tornado left.
Today it was suppose to be 83 and tomorrow 63.
I don't see 83 happening.
I'm feeling so blah!! It's probably this dreary weather.
Warm weather, sunshine where are you!?
Friday, May 7, 2010
FROGS! & Thank Goodness for Lori
What is there about frogs that litterly make me sick, unrational, and so afraid?
I was cleaning around on the deck when i pushed the lounge chair's back and when it came back toward me my heart litteraly stopped beating!
It couldn't be a......but it was. It was the color of the lounge chair so I knew it was one of the frogs that changes colors to match whatever it's on!!!
I immediately took off for the house thinking I'm going to have to move. I can't take this. I can't live like this!
I told Lori about the horrible creature that was on our deck and she immediately got up and went out and moved the frog!
I, of course, could not stand the thought of her letting it loose in the yard. Then I would constantly be thinking about it in the yard. NOPE, she had to be sure she put it over the fence where I would be safe.
Since this incident there is not one time that I have gone out my door to the deck and did not make a sweeping glance around for more frogs. I have to be so very careful. You understand don't you??
I can not begin to tell you how many frogs (I hate even writing the word) Lori has saved me from. And she never complains. Not a word. She will stop whatever she is doing and take care of it for me.
We once had a pool that would get frogs in the skimmer and everyday she would check the skimmer for me and remove the frogs without me seeing them.
THANK YOU LORI!!!! I Love You So Very Much for protecting me even when you think it's silly.
Once, when Samantha was around 4 they came to Tulsa for the weekend. In the house she came with a jar and big smile on her face. I was sitting on the couch and my protector vibes were going off and I knew immediately that I was in danger. As she came forward to show me her prize possession I almost did a flip to get away from her. Of course, she thought grandma was silly!
I don't know why I have such a frogaphobia but I do. Maybe it's because when we lived in Olustee we were driving home from seeing "The Rose" (see what an impression this incident left in my mind) when it started raining and I kid you not. It rained FROGS. Not just a few but hundreds!
I need help!
I was cleaning around on the deck when i pushed the lounge chair's back and when it came back toward me my heart litteraly stopped beating!
It couldn't be a......but it was. It was the color of the lounge chair so I knew it was one of the frogs that changes colors to match whatever it's on!!!
I immediately took off for the house thinking I'm going to have to move. I can't take this. I can't live like this!
I told Lori about the horrible creature that was on our deck and she immediately got up and went out and moved the frog!
I, of course, could not stand the thought of her letting it loose in the yard. Then I would constantly be thinking about it in the yard. NOPE, she had to be sure she put it over the fence where I would be safe.
Since this incident there is not one time that I have gone out my door to the deck and did not make a sweeping glance around for more frogs. I have to be so very careful. You understand don't you??
I can not begin to tell you how many frogs (I hate even writing the word) Lori has saved me from. And she never complains. Not a word. She will stop whatever she is doing and take care of it for me.
We once had a pool that would get frogs in the skimmer and everyday she would check the skimmer for me and remove the frogs without me seeing them.
THANK YOU LORI!!!! I Love You So Very Much for protecting me even when you think it's silly.
Once, when Samantha was around 4 they came to Tulsa for the weekend. In the house she came with a jar and big smile on her face. I was sitting on the couch and my protector vibes were going off and I knew immediately that I was in danger. As she came forward to show me her prize possession I almost did a flip to get away from her. Of course, she thought grandma was silly!
I don't know why I have such a frogaphobia but I do. Maybe it's because when we lived in Olustee we were driving home from seeing "The Rose" (see what an impression this incident left in my mind) when it started raining and I kid you not. It rained FROGS. Not just a few but hundreds!
I need help!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Stress, Stress, or Is It Meno.........
Ok, I did it. I took the estrogen pill the doctor gave me in December this morning. I did take it for a few days in Dec but felt so bloated that I stopped. I will try to do better this time. I hate taking medicine, never have had to really take anything before, but the "stress" is really getting to me or maybe I should say {shudder} menopause. I've gained weight, I'm not able to do the things my 30 year old mind says I can. I'm tired and worn out. Maybe it's moving to another house and moving the office. That could be stress for sure! But I've had this stress feeling before that. And I'm not sure but I think I'm having hot flashes at night. I know, how can someone think they are having hot flashes. Well, I think. I get really hot then I'm okay. But it's not like the hot flashes I've heard people talk about or imagined they would be. So we will see if the pills make me feel beter.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday at Last
51. Office moved.
52. Grayson reading a book.
53. God showing me I'm letting stress get to me.
54. Walking last night.
55. Grayson's laughter.
56. The rain today. It smelled so good.
57. Slowly getting the house unpacked.
58. Braxton going to be 3.
59. Talking to Chris 2x's this week.
60. Thinking about my school friend Janis.
52. Grayson reading a book.
53. God showing me I'm letting stress get to me.
54. Walking last night.
55. Grayson's laughter.
56. The rain today. It smelled so good.
57. Slowly getting the house unpacked.
58. Braxton going to be 3.
59. Talking to Chris 2x's this week.
60. Thinking about my school friend Janis.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
DEFINING MOMENT
Defining Moment.
The moment that defined who we are. I'm not sure what my defining momement was.
The Birth of My Children?
My Marriages and Divorces?
Graduating from College?
The lost of my brother?
The lost of my dad? My Grandmother?
The birth of my grandchildren?
The day I accepted Jesus?
Or would the tiny moments in our lives be our defining moment?
Riding in Freewheel?
The times I had my heart broken?
Times spent with my family?
Jobs?
MOVING?
ILLNESS?
Defining moments, I believe, can be all of the above.
The moments that take our breath away, the moments that make us stronger, the moments that make us laugh or cry, moments that gets us on our knees and cry out to God.
DEFINING MOMENTS! All moments shape us into who we are.
The moment that defined who we are. I'm not sure what my defining momement was.
The Birth of My Children?
My Marriages and Divorces?
Graduating from College?
The lost of my brother?
The lost of my dad? My Grandmother?
The birth of my grandchildren?
The day I accepted Jesus?
Or would the tiny moments in our lives be our defining moment?
Riding in Freewheel?
The times I had my heart broken?
Times spent with my family?
Jobs?
MOVING?
ILLNESS?
Defining moments, I believe, can be all of the above.
The moments that take our breath away, the moments that make us stronger, the moments that make us laugh or cry, moments that gets us on our knees and cry out to God.
DEFINING MOMENTS! All moments shape us into who we are.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
So thankful!
41. Frontier City
42. Watching stranger's faces as they rode rides.
43. Riding the boat ride and being so scared and laughing at the same time.
44. Watching grandkids have a good time.
45. The funny things Brax says. What a character.
46. Watching Grayson play soccer.
47. A freshly mowed lawn.
48. Listening to God.
49. Family, Family, My family. I am so blessed.
50. Subway. Love their sandwiches.
42. Watching stranger's faces as they rode rides.
43. Riding the boat ride and being so scared and laughing at the same time.
44. Watching grandkids have a good time.
45. The funny things Brax says. What a character.
46. Watching Grayson play soccer.
47. A freshly mowed lawn.
48. Listening to God.
49. Family, Family, My family. I am so blessed.
50. Subway. Love their sandwiches.
Monday, April 26, 2010
God sent an Angel in a time of need......Sayre Part 6 1990
Do you believe in Angles? I do and this is why.
I went to bed that night crying, holding my bible and praying. How was I going to survive this hurt?? So far away from home. No one to lean on but God. GOD who would show me that HE was the only one that I could count on unconditionally.
The frontroom windows and my bedroom windows looked out over the front yard and drive. As I laid there praying my bedroom was suddenly ablaze with light. My schnauzer, named Lady, started barking. I had never seen the bedroom light up that way. I looked out the window and saw a woman she had blonde hair and an old white car was in the driveway with its lights on. My first reaction was that it was Lisa and I thought How Dare Her!!! come to my house in the middle of the night. Hasn't she done enough?? I was mad. I grabbed Lady and headed to the frontroom. I had grabbed Lady to shut her up because I didn't want her to wake the girls. When we got to the frontroom it was ablaze in light. I thought Lisa must have left her car lights on. When I reached the front door I went flying out. I was fighting mad. As I stood on the porch holding Lady I noticed the woman standing there was not Lisa.
The woman standing at the foot of the steps was dressed in a white robe with a gold cord around her waiste and blonde hair. I had never seen this woman before. This is how the conversation went with my ANGEL. Yes, I said Angel.
Woman: Sam has had a heartattack.
Me: Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?
Woman: David's son is on drugs. A tear slides down her face.
Me: What do you need me to do?
Woman: Kathy just lost two of her teenagers in a carwreck. A tear slides down her face.
Woman: Jim is homeless.
I keep asking her what I can do to help her. Do I need to call someone? She continues to tell me about all these people who are hurting. I stop asking her what I can do and just listen. I look at the car in the driveway with it's lights still on. It's an older white car. I still have Lady in my arms and the whole time the woman is talking Lady is being very quiet which is very unusual for her. The woman quietly tells me about all these people who are hurting and I realized there are many more people that are hurting far more than I am. I start saying Thank You Jesus, Thank You Jesus for showing me that I am not alone in my hurt. As I'm saying this a warm light starts at the top of my head and goes down my body slowly. As it goes down my body I feel such a love that I can't even describe it. When it gets to my feet I turn to go in the house and I look back to see if the is still there she is gone. I look toward the driveway the car is gone. I looked toward the road. No car in sight. There is no way that she could have left in the car that quick. God sent an Angel to me. As I went into the house the house was dark, no longer bright with light. I realized then that the car light would not have shown into the window even with the lights on because the driveway faced the side of the house. NOT directly in front of the house.I went back to bed and slept like a baby with such peace and love. I was going to be fine. Yes, I was going to fine. I was learning to lean totally on God!
I will continue my story with more things that God did the short time we were in Sayre.
I went to bed that night crying, holding my bible and praying. How was I going to survive this hurt?? So far away from home. No one to lean on but God. GOD who would show me that HE was the only one that I could count on unconditionally.
The frontroom windows and my bedroom windows looked out over the front yard and drive. As I laid there praying my bedroom was suddenly ablaze with light. My schnauzer, named Lady, started barking. I had never seen the bedroom light up that way. I looked out the window and saw a woman she had blonde hair and an old white car was in the driveway with its lights on. My first reaction was that it was Lisa and I thought How Dare Her!!! come to my house in the middle of the night. Hasn't she done enough?? I was mad. I grabbed Lady and headed to the frontroom. I had grabbed Lady to shut her up because I didn't want her to wake the girls. When we got to the frontroom it was ablaze in light. I thought Lisa must have left her car lights on. When I reached the front door I went flying out. I was fighting mad. As I stood on the porch holding Lady I noticed the woman standing there was not Lisa.
The woman standing at the foot of the steps was dressed in a white robe with a gold cord around her waiste and blonde hair. I had never seen this woman before. This is how the conversation went with my ANGEL. Yes, I said Angel.
Woman: Sam has had a heartattack.
Me: Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?
Woman: David's son is on drugs. A tear slides down her face.
Me: What do you need me to do?
Woman: Kathy just lost two of her teenagers in a carwreck. A tear slides down her face.
Woman: Jim is homeless.
I keep asking her what I can do to help her. Do I need to call someone? She continues to tell me about all these people who are hurting. I stop asking her what I can do and just listen. I look at the car in the driveway with it's lights still on. It's an older white car. I still have Lady in my arms and the whole time the woman is talking Lady is being very quiet which is very unusual for her. The woman quietly tells me about all these people who are hurting and I realized there are many more people that are hurting far more than I am. I start saying Thank You Jesus, Thank You Jesus for showing me that I am not alone in my hurt. As I'm saying this a warm light starts at the top of my head and goes down my body slowly. As it goes down my body I feel such a love that I can't even describe it. When it gets to my feet I turn to go in the house and I look back to see if the is still there she is gone. I look toward the driveway the car is gone. I looked toward the road. No car in sight. There is no way that she could have left in the car that quick. God sent an Angel to me. As I went into the house the house was dark, no longer bright with light. I realized then that the car light would not have shown into the window even with the lights on because the driveway faced the side of the house. NOT directly in front of the house.I went back to bed and slept like a baby with such peace and love. I was going to be fine. Yes, I was going to fine. I was learning to lean totally on God!
I will continue my story with more things that God did the short time we were in Sayre.
Friday, April 16, 2010
1,000 gifts continues
32. Moved into new home.
33. Spring. Everything blooming!
34. Family, can't say enough about my family!
35. My daughter in law Starla, catching up with her on the phone.
36. Braxton, so funny! He always makes us a laugh.
37. Talking to mom.
38. Staff that show up to work when they are suppose to.
39. Reading a blog about a little girl with brain cancer and the kindness of strangers.
40. Southcrest ER...Dr Stone very good with Grayson.
33. Spring. Everything blooming!
34. Family, can't say enough about my family!
35. My daughter in law Starla, catching up with her on the phone.
36. Braxton, so funny! He always makes us a laugh.
37. Talking to mom.
38. Staff that show up to work when they are suppose to.
39. Reading a blog about a little girl with brain cancer and the kindness of strangers.
40. Southcrest ER...Dr Stone very good with Grayson.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sayre.....Part 5 1990
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. And save such as have a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18
I went to bed that night crying and holding my bible. I would go to bed like this for awhile.....crying, holding my bible and praying.
During the middle of the night a few nites later I called my friend Paula and talked to her awhile. Paula told me that this wasn't the first time. That Mark had been fired from another job for questionable behavior toward some teenage girls in his charge. Later my son told me that his dad (who was on the school board) had told him that some parents had complained about comments he had made to their girls while on a bus trip. My gosh, how much more was I going to have to hear and bear. Did he do anything to my girls?? They assured me he hadn't.
After I talked to Paula I called my ex husband Nathan in Florida. I needed to tell him I was sorry for the hurt and pain I had caused him with our divorce. He was very gracious and accepted my apology. We talked for a long time.
The first weekend after this happened the kids and I went home. Just before this I had spent almost all of my check on groceries so we did not have much money. At home I was restless. I couldn't make sense of this. How could you walk out on a marriage and not talk about it?? There was no closure. I was left hanging and not knowing what went wrong. I was so confused.
The kids and I went back to Sayre. My mom had wanted me to move back right then but I wanted to wait until school was out. I still felt like I was married and so didn't know for sure what to do. But I felt God was telling me to stay put in Sayre. When we got home we had a surprise. Mark had broke into the house and took all of our groceries and some other items. I was shocked!! He was taking our food to feed Lisa and her girls. How much more was I to take?? Mark said he felt like he had a right to the food. He left us with none. I wrote a hot check for us to have groceries and prayed it didn't go to the bank until I had deposited my next check.
A week or so later I called my mother in law, Ruth, and was talking to her to see if she had heard from Mark. I still couldn't get him to talk to me. I wanted to know what she knew and I knew Ruth would think her son was rotten for doing this! It would be good to talk to someone on my side! But that wasn't to be. Ruth told me that he had brought Lisa home to meet her?!? And that she seemed like a lovely girl. A lovely girl?? Was I hearing this right? I said Ruth they are both still married. I started crying and Ruth said I needed to quit acting like a baby and move on. I hung up the phone never to talk to her again. I was never so hurt in my life. It was like a knife stuck in my heart. Ruth was a Christian and Mark's dad a pastor. Could she really be saying this??? Later, I would receive a letter from Mark's dad saying he was sorry for what his son had done and that I would always be his daughter in law. I also received a letter from his uncle saying that he was sorry.
Mathew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take heart; and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Rest, oh how I needed rest. To be continued.
Psalm 34:18
I went to bed that night crying and holding my bible. I would go to bed like this for awhile.....crying, holding my bible and praying.
During the middle of the night a few nites later I called my friend Paula and talked to her awhile. Paula told me that this wasn't the first time. That Mark had been fired from another job for questionable behavior toward some teenage girls in his charge. Later my son told me that his dad (who was on the school board) had told him that some parents had complained about comments he had made to their girls while on a bus trip. My gosh, how much more was I going to have to hear and bear. Did he do anything to my girls?? They assured me he hadn't.
After I talked to Paula I called my ex husband Nathan in Florida. I needed to tell him I was sorry for the hurt and pain I had caused him with our divorce. He was very gracious and accepted my apology. We talked for a long time.
The first weekend after this happened the kids and I went home. Just before this I had spent almost all of my check on groceries so we did not have much money. At home I was restless. I couldn't make sense of this. How could you walk out on a marriage and not talk about it?? There was no closure. I was left hanging and not knowing what went wrong. I was so confused.
The kids and I went back to Sayre. My mom had wanted me to move back right then but I wanted to wait until school was out. I still felt like I was married and so didn't know for sure what to do. But I felt God was telling me to stay put in Sayre. When we got home we had a surprise. Mark had broke into the house and took all of our groceries and some other items. I was shocked!! He was taking our food to feed Lisa and her girls. How much more was I to take?? Mark said he felt like he had a right to the food. He left us with none. I wrote a hot check for us to have groceries and prayed it didn't go to the bank until I had deposited my next check.
A week or so later I called my mother in law, Ruth, and was talking to her to see if she had heard from Mark. I still couldn't get him to talk to me. I wanted to know what she knew and I knew Ruth would think her son was rotten for doing this! It would be good to talk to someone on my side! But that wasn't to be. Ruth told me that he had brought Lisa home to meet her?!? And that she seemed like a lovely girl. A lovely girl?? Was I hearing this right? I said Ruth they are both still married. I started crying and Ruth said I needed to quit acting like a baby and move on. I hung up the phone never to talk to her again. I was never so hurt in my life. It was like a knife stuck in my heart. Ruth was a Christian and Mark's dad a pastor. Could she really be saying this??? Later, I would receive a letter from Mark's dad saying he was sorry for what his son had done and that I would always be his daughter in law. I also received a letter from his uncle saying that he was sorry.
Mathew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take heart; and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Rest, oh how I needed rest. To be continued.
1,000 Gifts continued
26. Beautiful dogwood trees.
27. Sharing bible verses with Tiffany.
28. Lori job interview.
29. Moving to our new house this wknd.
30. Grayson making a friend at our new house. First time she has lived in a neighborhood where there where children her age. YEAH!
31. Church Services this pass week. So good!
27. Sharing bible verses with Tiffany.
28. Lori job interview.
29. Moving to our new house this wknd.
30. Grayson making a friend at our new house. First time she has lived in a neighborhood where there where children her age. YEAH!
31. Church Services this pass week. So good!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Sayre.....Part 4. 1990's
We had started attending the First Baptist Church. Mark wanted to join this church because that's were the top business men went and he was one of them. The same time we started another couple also joined, Arlene and David. David was the new optometrist in town. Arlene, would become a very close friend.
Mark's sister and brother in law came to visit us for a few days. While they were here visiting we went to eat and I noticed that he was calling the waitress honey and baby. This was something he never did before. The uneasiness was still with me.
A couple of weeks later I woke up in the middle of night to find Mark not in bed. I thought he must not have been able to sleep and I would find him watching TV in the living room. This was before cell phones so I couldn't call him. He came home a few hours later and when I asked him where he had been he said at work. He was an administrator of a nursing home and said he had gone to make sure employees where working. I didn't say anything at the time but in my heart I knew that wasn't true but wanted to believe him so bad.
During this time he wasn't coming to bed but staying up watching TV. When I would ask him to come to bed he would say he wasn't sleepy. During this time he wasn't telling me he loved me which he always did before and was really acting like he couldn't stand to be around me. Things were different and when I would ask what was wrong he would say nothing.
My birthday came around and he gave me a dozen roses. I was surprised. I thought things were going to be different. The next day the 12 roses had died and were black as black could be. I looked at those roses and thought "our love has died'.
A week or so later I was looking at his checkbook and noticed an entry and a receipt for an expensive place to eat. The receipt was for two. My heart fell. Mark hadn't taken me so who did he take?? I asked him about it and he blew it off saying he had taken someone to eat for doing a good job. I knew he was lying. I was so scared. We had moved 600 miles from family and I didn't have anyone to talk to. I felt like my life was spinning out of control and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
A week later he told me that Lisa (the sugary sweet one!) was getting a divorce. I was shocked and scared at the same time. Mark also told me he had been fired! Mark also said Lisa had been fired. When I asked him why he said something that didn't even make sense and he didn't want to talk about it.
A couple of nights later I woke up, checked on the kids, and noticed Tiffany was not in her bed. I thought she has sneaked out! I jumped in my car to find Tiffany. I didn't even notice that Mark's car was gone. I was going to go downtown to see if she was hanging out there. Instead of turning right I turned left out of the drive. I thought I'm going the wrong way and turned left again and then seen a trailer park and I thought I would turn around in there. I had never been this way and didn't even know the trailer park existed. While I was driving through to turn around I noticed Mark's car parked in front of a trailer. OH MY GOSH! I was furious! So this is what's going on. I was so mad I didn't even think about what I was doing. I jumped out of my car and ran to the trailer door and started pounding. I was pounding on the door so hard that it came opened. I went inside and it was empty! I was going to every trailer until I found him. I was obviously not thinking too straight. I could have been killed pounding on doors and breaking in. I went to the next trailer. The lights were on and I could hear a TV. I pounded, I could here someone say "moma someone's at the door". I didn't say anything but pounded. The door opened and I went in (was that crazy or what) and saw Lisa's daughter and I knew what was going on. I went down the hall and Mark was coming out of the bedroom, he was scared because he thought it was Lisa's husband. I could see Lisa lying in bed. I asked him "what the hell are you doing here". He said "I'm just visiting". I yelled "if you want to visit, visit with your wife". Great comeback, huh! He told me to go home and he would be there. I don't know how I got home but when he came home I was throwing his stuff into the yard. I was yelling. Acting liking a crazed woman. Thinking how could he do this. He grabbed me and bent my arms around to my back and leaned me over the couch. Mark said "I married you because I thought you would die". " I didn't know you were going to live this long". The fight went out of me. He thought I was going to die?? I was in my 30's why was I going to die. I had been real sick before he asked me to marry him but I wasn't going to die. I watched him carry his stuff out to the car and then he woke up Markie. Markie wanted to know what was going on and he told him they were leaving. I asked him where he was going and he said to Lisa's. Could my heart break anymore? This was it. NO talking about it. Our marriage was over.
Later, I realized God led me to that park. God prepared me for this. It was during this time, since I was so far from my family, that I learned to lean totally on God! I was so lost and hurt.
Mark's sister and brother in law came to visit us for a few days. While they were here visiting we went to eat and I noticed that he was calling the waitress honey and baby. This was something he never did before. The uneasiness was still with me.
A couple of weeks later I woke up in the middle of night to find Mark not in bed. I thought he must not have been able to sleep and I would find him watching TV in the living room. This was before cell phones so I couldn't call him. He came home a few hours later and when I asked him where he had been he said at work. He was an administrator of a nursing home and said he had gone to make sure employees where working. I didn't say anything at the time but in my heart I knew that wasn't true but wanted to believe him so bad.
During this time he wasn't coming to bed but staying up watching TV. When I would ask him to come to bed he would say he wasn't sleepy. During this time he wasn't telling me he loved me which he always did before and was really acting like he couldn't stand to be around me. Things were different and when I would ask what was wrong he would say nothing.
My birthday came around and he gave me a dozen roses. I was surprised. I thought things were going to be different. The next day the 12 roses had died and were black as black could be. I looked at those roses and thought "our love has died'.
A week or so later I was looking at his checkbook and noticed an entry and a receipt for an expensive place to eat. The receipt was for two. My heart fell. Mark hadn't taken me so who did he take?? I asked him about it and he blew it off saying he had taken someone to eat for doing a good job. I knew he was lying. I was so scared. We had moved 600 miles from family and I didn't have anyone to talk to. I felt like my life was spinning out of control and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
A week later he told me that Lisa (the sugary sweet one!) was getting a divorce. I was shocked and scared at the same time. Mark also told me he had been fired! Mark also said Lisa had been fired. When I asked him why he said something that didn't even make sense and he didn't want to talk about it.
A couple of nights later I woke up, checked on the kids, and noticed Tiffany was not in her bed. I thought she has sneaked out! I jumped in my car to find Tiffany. I didn't even notice that Mark's car was gone. I was going to go downtown to see if she was hanging out there. Instead of turning right I turned left out of the drive. I thought I'm going the wrong way and turned left again and then seen a trailer park and I thought I would turn around in there. I had never been this way and didn't even know the trailer park existed. While I was driving through to turn around I noticed Mark's car parked in front of a trailer. OH MY GOSH! I was furious! So this is what's going on. I was so mad I didn't even think about what I was doing. I jumped out of my car and ran to the trailer door and started pounding. I was pounding on the door so hard that it came opened. I went inside and it was empty! I was going to every trailer until I found him. I was obviously not thinking too straight. I could have been killed pounding on doors and breaking in. I went to the next trailer. The lights were on and I could hear a TV. I pounded, I could here someone say "moma someone's at the door". I didn't say anything but pounded. The door opened and I went in (was that crazy or what) and saw Lisa's daughter and I knew what was going on. I went down the hall and Mark was coming out of the bedroom, he was scared because he thought it was Lisa's husband. I could see Lisa lying in bed. I asked him "what the hell are you doing here". He said "I'm just visiting". I yelled "if you want to visit, visit with your wife". Great comeback, huh! He told me to go home and he would be there. I don't know how I got home but when he came home I was throwing his stuff into the yard. I was yelling. Acting liking a crazed woman. Thinking how could he do this. He grabbed me and bent my arms around to my back and leaned me over the couch. Mark said "I married you because I thought you would die". " I didn't know you were going to live this long". The fight went out of me. He thought I was going to die?? I was in my 30's why was I going to die. I had been real sick before he asked me to marry him but I wasn't going to die. I watched him carry his stuff out to the car and then he woke up Markie. Markie wanted to know what was going on and he told him they were leaving. I asked him where he was going and he said to Lisa's. Could my heart break anymore? This was it. NO talking about it. Our marriage was over.
Later, I realized God led me to that park. God prepared me for this. It was during this time, since I was so far from my family, that I learned to lean totally on God! I was so lost and hurt.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
POOPIE
Let me just tell you my youngest grandson (2 yrs old) is quite the character!
Braxton was leaving our house last night and this is how the conversation goes with him.
Me: Bye Brax I Love You!
Lori: Bye Brax I Love you!
Brax: No response.
Me: Bye Brax I Love YOU!
Brax: No response.
Me: I Love You Brax!
Brax: At the front door turns around and says Bye Poopie I love you and breaks out laughing.
Poopie, this is something Brax has come up with. We don't know why except it may have come from watching a dinosuar show. But he says this to me, Lori, his mom and dad. Everyone is poopie or sometimes cocoa at sometime. So funny!
Braxton was leaving our house last night and this is how the conversation goes with him.
Me: Bye Brax I Love You!
Lori: Bye Brax I Love you!
Brax: No response.
Me: Bye Brax I Love YOU!
Brax: No response.
Me: I Love You Brax!
Brax: At the front door turns around and says Bye Poopie I love you and breaks out laughing.
Poopie, this is something Brax has come up with. We don't know why except it may have come from watching a dinosuar show. But he says this to me, Lori, his mom and dad. Everyone is poopie or sometimes cocoa at sometime. So funny!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
100 Things About Me
1. I was born in Miami, Ok to Norma and E L Patterson.
2. I am very proud of and love my 3 children Chris, Lori and Tiffany. I have a wonderful daughter in law Starla (who I can talk freely about God with) and a wonderful son in law Steve (who I know would protect my baby from harm). I want my children more than anything to have a servants heart for Jesus and serve Him and be successful in whatever they choose to do.
3. I have 4 precious grandchildren who I love very much. Derek my first grandchild, Samantha my first granddaughter, Grayson my granddaughter from my oldest daughter, and Braxton our miracle baby from my youngest daughter. I love watching them grow up.
I want them to grow up with a servants heart for Jesus and be well adjusted adults that want to make a difference.
4. I love big dogs. I have had several and they become the alpha. Which is not good! Maybe because they were male!?! I still miss Jake.
5. I love baseball. I can go to a baseball game by myself and enjoy.
6. I love fall because of football weather. hint: Derek
7. Names that I go by: Lyn, Linda, Linda Kay, Linda Lou, Mom, Momma, Mommy, Grandma, Mammaw, Aunt Linda.
8. I work in the health field and enjoy it.
9. I have been parasailing and loved it.
10. I've been to Hawaii and would like to go back.
11. I thought Maine was beautiful.
12. I loved Panama City Beach. Would like to go back every summer!
13. I love walking on the beach.
14. I love to dance.
15. I like to keep up with the news.
16. I like to watch Ghost Hunters, HGTV, Castle, Dancing with the Stars, Biggest Looser and ID channel.
17. I love listening to Yoshi snore.
18. I hate frogs. They are evil. Did I say I hate FROGS!?!
19. I dislike mean spirited people.
20. I like to go out to eat.
21. I love romantic comedies.
22. I have never seen Titantic or any Star Wars/Star Treck/Twlight for that matter.
23. I love my church.
24. I love flowers; panseys, daisy's and sunflowers.
25. I love land. To be able to look out the window and see land is a blessing.
26. Silent Night is my favorite Christmas Song.
27. I miss my dad, grandma and brother so much.
28. I have friends but not one close friend.
29. I have been married 4 times. Yes, I know.
30. I love Jesus. He is my savior and loves me unconditionally.
31. I enjoy traveling.
32. I have crazy hair. It doesn't matter how it is cut it's going to look the same and to color it? Oh boy, that's another story. My hair is a stylist's nightmare.
33. I was born with red hair.
34. My eyes turned blue when I was 12.
35. I love family gatherings. I love vacations with my kids, grandkids and mom.
36. I like to go hiking.
37. I love having a pool. Very important to me. I love being able to walk out the door and get in the pool whenever I want.
38. I love times spent with just my son and we get to talk.
39. I'm a shy person but try to not show it.
40. I love to laugh.
41. I cry when I watch sad movies or read something sad..
42. I love boating and all the things that go along with it.
43. I like to ride my bicycle. I have rode in Freewheel 10 times and RAGBAI once. I do a lot of thinking when I'm riding and have seen some country that I would never have seen if not on a bike.
44. I would like to ride my bike in Vermont, Maine and along a coast.
44. I like to camp and go rafting.
45. I have had my heart broken so many times that I didn't know if superglue would glue it back together.
46. I can laugh when someone falls. sorry
47. My favorite holidays are Christmas and 4th of July.
48. I love fireworks. Disney World fireworks were the best!
49. I saw a Doors concert when I was 13. Come on baby lite my fire....
50. I love to see Rod Stewart in concert. I've seen him twice. But seeing Billy Joel with Elton John...I would go see Billy Joel again.
51. I like museums and plays.
52. I don't like it when people are bossy. Especially to me. You know who you are.
53. I like to get cards for my birthday, mothers day.....well anytime.
54. Summer is my favorite season, then spring, then fall and then winter.
55. I love watching it snow. But do not like the ice on the roads.
56. I love that Lori knew the song of my heart and lets me be me.
57. I love that I always think I can do it. Even though sometimes I fail.
58. I like to play boardgames and cards.
59. I love to read. Yes, even romantic books by Debbie McComber.
60. I like to go to christian women events or read things that will make me a better person.
61. I enjoy reading and studying my bible.
62. I love my momma and enjoy our times together.
63. I love pink, green, purples, blues.
64. I love to decorate and rearrange.
65. I love to scrapbook.
66. I love Lucia. My compassion child from Boliva. One of these years I hope to be able to go see her.
67. I would love to go on a mission trip.
68. I like to entertain even though I can stress about it.
69. I can get stressed when the house is not clean.
70. I do not like going to the dentist.
71. I had a bad accident while roller skating and bike riding.
72. I miss Easter hunts with my dad and his family.
73. I want to retire to the lake.
74. I like to do crossword puzzles. Trying to keep that mind active.
75. I do not want to be a mean person.
76. I can be sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. I'm working on that.
77. I don't like people who drive up fast in the lane next to you and think you should let them in. You know who you are.
78. I hate child abuse. Abuse of any kind.
79. I love living in Tulsa.
80. I love the smell of a lawn freshly mowed.
81. I love to watch it storm. I like to sit on the deck when it is raining/storming.
82. I love to go shopping with Tiffany. She's my shopping girl!
83. I love barns. I'm always looking at barns when driving/traveling. You just never know when you will need one. :)
84. I graduated high school with a class of 24. I still have a friend from the 5th grade.
85. Sometimes I like to take a day and just stay in my pajamas and do nothing.
86. I always wanted to be a writer.
87. I love my War Eagle trips with my friends Kim and Dana. There use to be 8 of us and we are down to us 3. We've been going since 1996.
88. I only been geocache once but loved it and hope to get to do more.
89. I'm not very good at waiting.
90. I love to go to Zoos.
91. I'm a card carrying Cherokee.
92. I love to start projects...just don't always finish them.
93. I still believe in Santa.
94. I believe in dreams. You have to have dreams.
95. I love Beth Moore studies.
96. I love Michael O'briens song "If I Said Nothing".
97. I'm a forgiving person. Sometimes forgiving to a fault.
98. My grandmother taught me alot about being a Christian. She was one of the greatest women I ever knew and I miss her so much.
99. I don't like my body showing signs of growing old.
100. I love life on earth but am so thankful that I have an eternal life in heaven.
2. I am very proud of and love my 3 children Chris, Lori and Tiffany. I have a wonderful daughter in law Starla (who I can talk freely about God with) and a wonderful son in law Steve (who I know would protect my baby from harm). I want my children more than anything to have a servants heart for Jesus and serve Him and be successful in whatever they choose to do.
3. I have 4 precious grandchildren who I love very much. Derek my first grandchild, Samantha my first granddaughter, Grayson my granddaughter from my oldest daughter, and Braxton our miracle baby from my youngest daughter. I love watching them grow up.
I want them to grow up with a servants heart for Jesus and be well adjusted adults that want to make a difference.
4. I love big dogs. I have had several and they become the alpha. Which is not good! Maybe because they were male!?! I still miss Jake.
5. I love baseball. I can go to a baseball game by myself and enjoy.
6. I love fall because of football weather. hint: Derek
7. Names that I go by: Lyn, Linda, Linda Kay, Linda Lou, Mom, Momma, Mommy, Grandma, Mammaw, Aunt Linda.
8. I work in the health field and enjoy it.
9. I have been parasailing and loved it.
10. I've been to Hawaii and would like to go back.
11. I thought Maine was beautiful.
12. I loved Panama City Beach. Would like to go back every summer!
13. I love walking on the beach.
14. I love to dance.
15. I like to keep up with the news.
16. I like to watch Ghost Hunters, HGTV, Castle, Dancing with the Stars, Biggest Looser and ID channel.
17. I love listening to Yoshi snore.
18. I hate frogs. They are evil. Did I say I hate FROGS!?!
19. I dislike mean spirited people.
20. I like to go out to eat.
21. I love romantic comedies.
22. I have never seen Titantic or any Star Wars/Star Treck/Twlight for that matter.
23. I love my church.
24. I love flowers; panseys, daisy's and sunflowers.
25. I love land. To be able to look out the window and see land is a blessing.
26. Silent Night is my favorite Christmas Song.
27. I miss my dad, grandma and brother so much.
28. I have friends but not one close friend.
29. I have been married 4 times. Yes, I know.
30. I love Jesus. He is my savior and loves me unconditionally.
31. I enjoy traveling.
32. I have crazy hair. It doesn't matter how it is cut it's going to look the same and to color it? Oh boy, that's another story. My hair is a stylist's nightmare.
33. I was born with red hair.
34. My eyes turned blue when I was 12.
35. I love family gatherings. I love vacations with my kids, grandkids and mom.
36. I like to go hiking.
37. I love having a pool. Very important to me. I love being able to walk out the door and get in the pool whenever I want.
38. I love times spent with just my son and we get to talk.
39. I'm a shy person but try to not show it.
40. I love to laugh.
41. I cry when I watch sad movies or read something sad..
42. I love boating and all the things that go along with it.
43. I like to ride my bicycle. I have rode in Freewheel 10 times and RAGBAI once. I do a lot of thinking when I'm riding and have seen some country that I would never have seen if not on a bike.
44. I would like to ride my bike in Vermont, Maine and along a coast.
44. I like to camp and go rafting.
45. I have had my heart broken so many times that I didn't know if superglue would glue it back together.
46. I can laugh when someone falls. sorry
47. My favorite holidays are Christmas and 4th of July.
48. I love fireworks. Disney World fireworks were the best!
49. I saw a Doors concert when I was 13. Come on baby lite my fire....
50. I love to see Rod Stewart in concert. I've seen him twice. But seeing Billy Joel with Elton John...I would go see Billy Joel again.
51. I like museums and plays.
52. I don't like it when people are bossy. Especially to me. You know who you are.
53. I like to get cards for my birthday, mothers day.....well anytime.
54. Summer is my favorite season, then spring, then fall and then winter.
55. I love watching it snow. But do not like the ice on the roads.
56. I love that Lori knew the song of my heart and lets me be me.
57. I love that I always think I can do it. Even though sometimes I fail.
58. I like to play boardgames and cards.
59. I love to read. Yes, even romantic books by Debbie McComber.
60. I like to go to christian women events or read things that will make me a better person.
61. I enjoy reading and studying my bible.
62. I love my momma and enjoy our times together.
63. I love pink, green, purples, blues.
64. I love to decorate and rearrange.
65. I love to scrapbook.
66. I love Lucia. My compassion child from Boliva. One of these years I hope to be able to go see her.
67. I would love to go on a mission trip.
68. I like to entertain even though I can stress about it.
69. I can get stressed when the house is not clean.
70. I do not like going to the dentist.
71. I had a bad accident while roller skating and bike riding.
72. I miss Easter hunts with my dad and his family.
73. I want to retire to the lake.
74. I like to do crossword puzzles. Trying to keep that mind active.
75. I do not want to be a mean person.
76. I can be sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. I'm working on that.
77. I don't like people who drive up fast in the lane next to you and think you should let them in. You know who you are.
78. I hate child abuse. Abuse of any kind.
79. I love living in Tulsa.
80. I love the smell of a lawn freshly mowed.
81. I love to watch it storm. I like to sit on the deck when it is raining/storming.
82. I love to go shopping with Tiffany. She's my shopping girl!
83. I love barns. I'm always looking at barns when driving/traveling. You just never know when you will need one. :)
84. I graduated high school with a class of 24. I still have a friend from the 5th grade.
85. Sometimes I like to take a day and just stay in my pajamas and do nothing.
86. I always wanted to be a writer.
87. I love my War Eagle trips with my friends Kim and Dana. There use to be 8 of us and we are down to us 3. We've been going since 1996.
88. I only been geocache once but loved it and hope to get to do more.
89. I'm not very good at waiting.
90. I love to go to Zoos.
91. I'm a card carrying Cherokee.
92. I love to start projects...just don't always finish them.
93. I still believe in Santa.
94. I believe in dreams. You have to have dreams.
95. I love Beth Moore studies.
96. I love Michael O'briens song "If I Said Nothing".
97. I'm a forgiving person. Sometimes forgiving to a fault.
98. My grandmother taught me alot about being a Christian. She was one of the greatest women I ever knew and I miss her so much.
99. I don't like my body showing signs of growing old.
100. I love life on earth but am so thankful that I have an eternal life in heaven.
More gifts
21. Thankful that my surgery went well.
22. The gift of watching Braxton and Grayson dance to Wii. So CUTE!!
23. The gift of life. Realizing again how precious life is after hearing about someone I know dying at 45.
24. The weather today is beautiful. The start of spring!
25. Thankful for a mom that loves me no matter what.
22. The gift of watching Braxton and Grayson dance to Wii. So CUTE!!
23. The gift of life. Realizing again how precious life is after hearing about someone I know dying at 45.
24. The weather today is beautiful. The start of spring!
25. Thankful for a mom that loves me no matter what.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
and more gifts to be thankful for
19. I'm thankful that I am having my tear duct surgery tomorrow. Even though I'm nervous I know God is in control.
20. I'm thankful for the Beth Moore study I've been doing. It's been an eye opener. Well really all her studies are!
20. I'm thankful for the Beth Moore study I've been doing. It's been an eye opener. Well really all her studies are!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Sayre....the uneasiness starts. Part 3 1990
Mark moved to Elk City until the house he found for us in Sayre would be available. I went to Elk City to visit him for the weekend. Mark had been there for a couple of weeks and seemed a little different. I couldn't place my finger on it. I found a plastic bag of weed in the drawer and asked Mark about it. He had told me he wasn't smoking weed anymore. He gave me the excuse that it must have been left there from the previous renter. I didn't believe him. I wanted to but in my heart I knew it was his. I also, didn't want to confront him about it. I wanted so bad for everything to work out for us in Sayre.
We moved to Sayre in June. I loved Sayre. To me, Sayre look like it came right out of an old Clint Eastwood movie.
There was still something going on with Mark. He just didn't act the same. Shortly after moving in I went up to the Nursing Home. Mark showed me around and was introducing me to different people. We were standing in his office when a woman came in and Mark introduced her as the activity director. Her name was Lisa. Lisa shook hands with me and I thought to myself she was not someone you could trust and I actually had a sick feeling in my stomache! Lisa, I can only described as sugary sweet. The kind you wouldn't trust with your husband. I thought surely her husband could take care of her. Mark had mentioned her before to me and told me she was married and had 3 girls.
We moved to Sayre in June. I loved Sayre. To me, Sayre look like it came right out of an old Clint Eastwood movie.
There was still something going on with Mark. He just didn't act the same. Shortly after moving in I went up to the Nursing Home. Mark showed me around and was introducing me to different people. We were standing in his office when a woman came in and Mark introduced her as the activity director. Her name was Lisa. Lisa shook hands with me and I thought to myself she was not someone you could trust and I actually had a sick feeling in my stomache! Lisa, I can only described as sugary sweet. The kind you wouldn't trust with your husband. I thought surely her husband could take care of her. Mark had mentioned her before to me and told me she was married and had 3 girls.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Shackles Free
Yesterday, I was wearing my Mandisa, Shackles Free t-shirt that I got at a EWomen conference. The t-shirt is also from her song below. I love that shirt because everytime I wear it I remember that the bonds have been broken. The bonds can be anything that keeps us from having the relationship with Christ that we are to have. My "bond" was Andre'. Just when I thought I could take no more He broke the chains that Andre' had over me. I woke up last night thinking about Andre', how long it had been, and thinking it was time for him to make contact. Well today he did by instant message. I just stared at it thinking What?? Is this a test?? Am I going to fail God by answering???? I think God was preparing me that Andre' was going to make contact and I was 'clothed in strength and dignity". The verse on the shirt is John 8:36 So if the son sets you free, you will free indeed. I am free! The chains are broken! Praise God!
Shackles (Praise You)
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise You
I just wanna praise You
You broke the chains, now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise You
I'm gonna praise You
In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
‘Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like all hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise You through my circumstance
Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gonna lose my mind
But I know You wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need You to lift this load
‘Cause I can't take it no more
Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go
Shackles (Praise You)
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise You
I just wanna praise You
You broke the chains, now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise You
I'm gonna praise You
In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
‘Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like all hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise You through my circumstance
Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gonna lose my mind
But I know You wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need You to lift this load
‘Cause I can't take it no more
Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Laughter
Today I had taken a client to the doctor. While I waited in the waiting room for my client I begun to look at a magazine. I was reading the last page which had a short story on it when I started actually laughing out loud and then laughing so hard I was crying.There was no stopping it. I looked around the waiting room to see if someone was hearing this laughter. A lady was coming out from the patient area and looked at me strange. I was still laughing. As she got closer to me I could tell she thought I was laughing at her. I explained that I was laughing at the story I was reading. The lady said "well I thought you were laughing at me because I said I wanted to see my 6 month old granddaughter". I guess she had been talking to the nurse. I don't think I could have heard her over my laughing. :) I assured her I wasn't laughing at her but the story and she said "I'm glad you have had your laugh for the day" and walked out the door.
Laughter, a good belly laughter, is good for the soul! Maybe not to the people that had to witness it but it was good for me.
Laughter, a good belly laughter, is good for the soul! Maybe not to the people that had to witness it but it was good for me.
Monday, March 1, 2010
This Weekend
I took a Yoga class on Saturday which was my first time. I found that even though it's been several months since my roller skating accident I'm still having problems with dizziness! When we were doing the floor part I just had to lie there and spin. :)
The idea of taking this class was to build my upper strength for Freewheel. How can I ride a bike up hills all those miles if I don't have upper strength? I thought I needed to be in better shape this year. We will see.
Sunday after Church I got to spend some time with Tiffany and Braxton. We had a good time shopping and just being together. For not having his nap, Braxton was really good. We went to the mall first and then to Sams. At Sams he had taken all he could and fell asleep in the cart. So precious.
The idea of taking this class was to build my upper strength for Freewheel. How can I ride a bike up hills all those miles if I don't have upper strength? I thought I needed to be in better shape this year. We will see.
Sunday after Church I got to spend some time with Tiffany and Braxton. We had a good time shopping and just being together. For not having his nap, Braxton was really good. We went to the mall first and then to Sams. At Sams he had taken all he could and fell asleep in the cart. So precious.
Brokenhearted
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed. Psalm 34:18
How many times have we felt crushed or brokenhearted? It could have been over a failed relationship/marriage, a job lost, our home in foreclosure, a child not walking with the Lord, a child with a terminal illness, a parent ill and as simple as someone hurting our feelings. Someone we trusted. But, nevertheless, brokenhearted and crushed. Or how about brokenhearted over something that we said or did that crushed someone? Whether intentional or not.
Lord, thank you for being near when my heart was breaking and putting your arms around me. Reminding me that I have you to love me unconditionally and restore me. Lord, I just pray that I will not crush anyone with my words or deeds today. Lord, I lift up those that are brokenhearted or crushed to draw you near.
In Jesus Name
How many times have we felt crushed or brokenhearted? It could have been over a failed relationship/marriage, a job lost, our home in foreclosure, a child not walking with the Lord, a child with a terminal illness, a parent ill and as simple as someone hurting our feelings. Someone we trusted. But, nevertheless, brokenhearted and crushed. Or how about brokenhearted over something that we said or did that crushed someone? Whether intentional or not.
Lord, thank you for being near when my heart was breaking and putting your arms around me. Reminding me that I have you to love me unconditionally and restore me. Lord, I just pray that I will not crush anyone with my words or deeds today. Lord, I lift up those that are brokenhearted or crushed to draw you near.
In Jesus Name
We are moving to Sayre! Part 2
Mark got his Long Term Care license and got a job in Sayre. I was excited to see what God had in store for us. Mark and I had a marriage that can only be described as bad. I was hoping this would be the change we needed. A new start. A new life.
The plan was that Chris (my oldest) since he was out of school would stay in Miami. Mark would move to Sayre in April. He would start his new job and find us a place to live. We would follow in May after school was out. We being, my 2 girls and Markie. (we now had custody of Mark's son).
God was already at work preparing the way for me. God knew what was going to happen. I must ask myself if I knew what was going to happen would I have gone? Yes, I would have. To discover God's unfailing love for me at the lowest time in my life. You bet I would have. In a heartbeat!
The plan was that Chris (my oldest) since he was out of school would stay in Miami. Mark would move to Sayre in April. He would start his new job and find us a place to live. We would follow in May after school was out. We being, my 2 girls and Markie. (we now had custody of Mark's son).
God was already at work preparing the way for me. God knew what was going to happen. I must ask myself if I knew what was going to happen would I have gone? Yes, I would have. To discover God's unfailing love for me at the lowest time in my life. You bet I would have. In a heartbeat!
And more to be thankful for.
12. The waterfall at the park.
13. Having an electric heater at work when it's so cold.
14. Laughing with Tiff over the video of Brax saying The Pledge of Allegience.
15. Snuggling with Grayson this morning.
16. Laughing by myself and so hard not caring who saw me.
17. Watching Braxton fall asleep in the cart.
18. Having a nice home to go home to.
13. Having an electric heater at work when it's so cold.
14. Laughing with Tiff over the video of Brax saying The Pledge of Allegience.
15. Snuggling with Grayson this morning.
16. Laughing by myself and so hard not caring who saw me.
17. Watching Braxton fall asleep in the cart.
18. Having a nice home to go home to.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Two Primary Roots of Struggle
Beth Moore gave us two questions to answer today from our reading of chapters 5 & 6 in "So Long, Insecurity". What were our two primary roots of struggle? ( she spoke of 6 roots of insecurity) What if any insight and did we sense God was speaking to us?
Oh Yes, God spoke to me!
I chose Instability in the Home and Rejection. First instability. I need to deal with that first. Beth says "abuse can have many faces. It can be emotional, mental, physical, verbal, or sexual. When we encounter any of those it just reinforces our thoughts that we are on our own. There is no one who will take care of me". How many
times have I thought those same things from a very early age? Too many times. I have always felt like I had to be the strong one no matter how I ached for someone to take care of me. To hold me. To say that everything will be alright. The closes I came to letting that happen was when my brother died. I could hardly bear it. Beth also said "if a female was a sizable source of our insecurity early on, we will tend to struggle more with security around or with women". In my case it was male. She goes on to say "The gender of the person who originally made us feel defenseless or inordinately defensive until we are healed". I always thought that whatever a man did to me I deserved. I'm going to be totally honest here. In my mind I thought since all my suffering came from man and I deserved whatever man did then I could never lash out at God or be angry at God cause He was man. I discovered my thinking of this lie along time ago in counseling. I dealt with that lie but never completely on my thoughts about men. I know we should always be honest with God and tell Him our true feelings. He knows them anyway so we need to be honest with ourselves.
Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you.
Isaiah 46:4 NCV
God will always love me and take care of me no matter what! God never leaves us or forsakes us. We may wander from Him but He is always waiting with open arms for us to come back. Thank You Jesus!
Rejection goes along with my thoughts on men and goes along with the instability. I get in relationships with men that I know deepest in my heart they are not for me. Because of the comfort zone. I know how it's going to feel at the beginning, the middle and the end. It's not a good feeling but it's what I know and I find myself self nodding to
You are so right...
I'm not worth wanting
I'm not worth loving
I'm not worth pursuing
I'm not worth fighting for
I'm not worth keeping
I'm not even worth noticing
Ouch does that hurt! Rejection can also gives us temporary insanity. I have found myself even obsessing over someone that I didn't really like but because of my comfort zone I felt that I needed them. I didn't even really want to be with them. But that's what I deserved. Putting up a front doesn't work.
As Beth says "God knows exactly what happened and what a toll it took. (oh what a toll it has taken on me)He knows the number it played on our mind. (oh did it) Let Him bring you peace. Let Him tell you you're worth fighting for, and yes, keeping".
God is the reason we are here. God knows it's scary to be us! I heave a sigh of relief just knowing that.
I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed for I am your God.
Isaiah 41:9-10
Oh Yes, God spoke to me!
I chose Instability in the Home and Rejection. First instability. I need to deal with that first. Beth says "abuse can have many faces. It can be emotional, mental, physical, verbal, or sexual. When we encounter any of those it just reinforces our thoughts that we are on our own. There is no one who will take care of me". How many
times have I thought those same things from a very early age? Too many times. I have always felt like I had to be the strong one no matter how I ached for someone to take care of me. To hold me. To say that everything will be alright. The closes I came to letting that happen was when my brother died. I could hardly bear it. Beth also said "if a female was a sizable source of our insecurity early on, we will tend to struggle more with security around or with women". In my case it was male. She goes on to say "The gender of the person who originally made us feel defenseless or inordinately defensive until we are healed". I always thought that whatever a man did to me I deserved. I'm going to be totally honest here. In my mind I thought since all my suffering came from man and I deserved whatever man did then I could never lash out at God or be angry at God cause He was man. I discovered my thinking of this lie along time ago in counseling. I dealt with that lie but never completely on my thoughts about men. I know we should always be honest with God and tell Him our true feelings. He knows them anyway so we need to be honest with ourselves.
Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you.
Isaiah 46:4 NCV
God will always love me and take care of me no matter what! God never leaves us or forsakes us. We may wander from Him but He is always waiting with open arms for us to come back. Thank You Jesus!
Rejection goes along with my thoughts on men and goes along with the instability. I get in relationships with men that I know deepest in my heart they are not for me. Because of the comfort zone. I know how it's going to feel at the beginning, the middle and the end. It's not a good feeling but it's what I know and I find myself self nodding to
You are so right...
I'm not worth wanting
I'm not worth loving
I'm not worth pursuing
I'm not worth fighting for
I'm not worth keeping
I'm not even worth noticing
Ouch does that hurt! Rejection can also gives us temporary insanity. I have found myself even obsessing over someone that I didn't really like but because of my comfort zone I felt that I needed them. I didn't even really want to be with them. But that's what I deserved. Putting up a front doesn't work.
As Beth says "God knows exactly what happened and what a toll it took. (oh what a toll it has taken on me)He knows the number it played on our mind. (oh did it) Let Him bring you peace. Let Him tell you you're worth fighting for, and yes, keeping".
God is the reason we are here. God knows it's scary to be us! I heave a sigh of relief just knowing that.
I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed for I am your God.
Isaiah 41:9-10
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sayre...the beginning
To write anything about Sayre I must first write about how I arrived in Sayre. Start at the beginning...to make sense of everything that took place. God was preparing the way for me before I arrived. God had a plan. I didn't even know it.
In him we were also chosen having been predistined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will. Eph 1:11 NIV
1990
I was married to Mark, and living with my 3 children in Miami. We were attending Liberty Baptist Church. Our pastor Carol had gave a sermon on praying for God to do His will in our life not our will. Not how we want our life to go. Not to keep us from having pain in our life but Gods will in our life. To do with our life whatever He wanted. To do whatever it takes to get our attention. The saying goes you need to watch what you pray for you might just get it. Several weeks later I was talking with my friend Paula about this and told her I had been praying for this. I remember Paula's answer as if it was yesterday. Paula said, "Oh no, I'm too scared to do that. I'm afraid something will happen to one of my kids". I was surprised by this. Paula was refering to praying for God's will to happen in her childrens life. I hadn't been thinking really of something awful happening like that. I thought it would be something good. After all, why would God allow something bad to happen. Hmmm.....Nothing happens to us that has not trickled through God's fingers.
In him we were also chosen having been predistined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will. Eph 1:11 NIV
1990
I was married to Mark, and living with my 3 children in Miami. We were attending Liberty Baptist Church. Our pastor Carol had gave a sermon on praying for God to do His will in our life not our will. Not how we want our life to go. Not to keep us from having pain in our life but Gods will in our life. To do with our life whatever He wanted. To do whatever it takes to get our attention. The saying goes you need to watch what you pray for you might just get it. Several weeks later I was talking with my friend Paula about this and told her I had been praying for this. I remember Paula's answer as if it was yesterday. Paula said, "Oh no, I'm too scared to do that. I'm afraid something will happen to one of my kids". I was surprised by this. Paula was refering to praying for God's will to happen in her childrens life. I hadn't been thinking really of something awful happening like that. I thought it would be something good. After all, why would God allow something bad to happen. Hmmm.....Nothing happens to us that has not trickled through God's fingers.
We become weak to become Strong.
"Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." 2 Corinthians 12:10 MSG
God is not wasting the pain in your life. He never wastes a wound. He is healing you at this very moment and using that pain to show you a dream bigger than you realize. But you need to trust Him. When you trust, you allow room for hope.
When we are in the deep, deep valley we must hold on to the assurance that God stands firm and strong behind us. Nothing we experience will be wasted. It will all be used for our good to make us stronger, to make us walk closer to Him, to give us a more loving heart. In our greatest pain we need to lean greatly on God. Heis using our weakness to do His work in and through us, building trust, so that His dream for each of our lives can become a reality. (EWOMEN Daily Devotions)
When I read this I thought this is so true. How many times have I experienced this. God never showed it more true than He did to me when I lived in Sayre. Sayre, where so many things happen that can only be explained by God having control. I became so weak that I was strong. The presence of God was never so strong in my life as He was then. Even though it has been years since Sayre I think of that time in my life often, wanting back the closeness with God that I had. I want that closeness again. I can't say where did God go? He never left me. No, I can't say He hasn't always been there for me. He's been there quietly waiting for me to return to Him when I strayed from Him.
God is not wasting the pain in your life. He never wastes a wound. He is healing you at this very moment and using that pain to show you a dream bigger than you realize. But you need to trust Him. When you trust, you allow room for hope.
When we are in the deep, deep valley we must hold on to the assurance that God stands firm and strong behind us. Nothing we experience will be wasted. It will all be used for our good to make us stronger, to make us walk closer to Him, to give us a more loving heart. In our greatest pain we need to lean greatly on God. Heis using our weakness to do His work in and through us, building trust, so that His dream for each of our lives can become a reality. (EWOMEN Daily Devotions)
When I read this I thought this is so true. How many times have I experienced this. God never showed it more true than He did to me when I lived in Sayre. Sayre, where so many things happen that can only be explained by God having control. I became so weak that I was strong. The presence of God was never so strong in my life as He was then. Even though it has been years since Sayre I think of that time in my life often, wanting back the closeness with God that I had. I want that closeness again. I can't say where did God go? He never left me. No, I can't say He hasn't always been there for me. He's been there quietly waiting for me to return to Him when I strayed from Him.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
1,000 Gifts
Gifts from God. We get so busy in our everyday life that we miss the gifts each day that we get from God. I got this idea from Gratitude Community. I haven't got this post like I want yet. I'm going to start listing my gifts and will add on to this one date even though it won't actually be the real date. The idea is that doing this will change your life, your outlook, and so on. I can't wait to see how this will change my life. To really see my blessings in the everyday of life.
1. The sun shinning this morning.
2. Sweet Tea from QT.
3. My Family.
4. Braxton saying "Slow Grandma Slow". This was in reference to blowing bubbles.
5. Pedicure. First time.
6. Believing God!
7. Beth Moore bible study.
8. Grayson coming in to my bedroom trying to scare me.
9. My home...having a roof over my head.
10. My job...having a job in this economy.
11. Talking to my friend Janis. I've known her since 6th grade.
1. The sun shinning this morning.
2. Sweet Tea from QT.
3. My Family.
4. Braxton saying "Slow Grandma Slow". This was in reference to blowing bubbles.
5. Pedicure. First time.
6. Believing God!
7. Beth Moore bible study.
8. Grayson coming in to my bedroom trying to scare me.
9. My home...having a roof over my head.
10. My job...having a job in this economy.
11. Talking to my friend Janis. I've known her since 6th grade.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Insecurity
I've started a Beth Moore study online with her new book So Long Insecurity you've been a bad friend. I was really thinking that I wasn't insecure but would do the study anyway. What was I thinking?? Of course, I have insecurities, and they all have to do with men. Yes, men. Ok 98 percent is because of men. I have known this but didn't put it down as insecurity until I read the first few chapters. I am so use to men that I have been in relationships with treating me bad that when I do meet someone that is nice I don't like them, I'm not attracted to them. You know what I'm talking about if you have been in abusive relationships. You get in a comfort zone. You know what's going to happen, there are no surprises. You think that's what's suppose to happen. I have even went to counseling for this very thing. But it didn't take!
I have met 2 men (Danny and Monty) in the last year that were the opposite of what I was use to. They were nice guys. I'm not saying they were perfect. But nice. Treated me great. Nothing like what I was use to. So in all my insecurities I couldn't take it. I couldn't like someone like that or be attracted to someone that was going to treat me right. So what did I do. I ran as fast as I could. That's right. Broke up with one of them and stopped seeing one before it could get started. And did this under the disguise of Danny suffocating me and Monty not feeling it. I went looking for Andre'. Yes, Andre' my love, that one that I was comfortable with. There's that comfort zone again. Doctor, Doctor where are you?? That's crazy sounding I know. But if you have ever been there you know what I'm saying.
When I'm thinking normal, without my insecurities blaring at me, I think about Danny and Monty. Wondering why I couldn't have given them a chance? Why couldn't I have enjoyed a relationship with someone that treated me like I was someone special? Oh yea I'm insecure. That's the reason. But no more!! I'm ticked. I'm a scorned woman!So long Bad Friend!
Yes, I'm ready to say goodby. God prepares the way for us. God was preparing me for this book. Oh how He was preparing me. Nothing is by accident. It's destined. God knew I had to go through what I did with Andre' and what happened that last time we say each other to get to this point where I could read this book and know it was for me.
I have met 2 men (Danny and Monty) in the last year that were the opposite of what I was use to. They were nice guys. I'm not saying they were perfect. But nice. Treated me great. Nothing like what I was use to. So in all my insecurities I couldn't take it. I couldn't like someone like that or be attracted to someone that was going to treat me right. So what did I do. I ran as fast as I could. That's right. Broke up with one of them and stopped seeing one before it could get started. And did this under the disguise of Danny suffocating me and Monty not feeling it. I went looking for Andre'. Yes, Andre' my love, that one that I was comfortable with. There's that comfort zone again. Doctor, Doctor where are you?? That's crazy sounding I know. But if you have ever been there you know what I'm saying.
When I'm thinking normal, without my insecurities blaring at me, I think about Danny and Monty. Wondering why I couldn't have given them a chance? Why couldn't I have enjoyed a relationship with someone that treated me like I was someone special? Oh yea I'm insecure. That's the reason. But no more!! I'm ticked. I'm a scorned woman!So long Bad Friend!
Yes, I'm ready to say goodby. God prepares the way for us. God was preparing me for this book. Oh how He was preparing me. Nothing is by accident. It's destined. God knew I had to go through what I did with Andre' and what happened that last time we say each other to get to this point where I could read this book and know it was for me.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Lake Bug
Every since we spent time at the lake last summer I have wanted to get a place on the lake. Yes, I was bit by the lake bug. Never thought that would happen but it did. I've always been a pool kind of gal. My realator, yes my realator, has been sending me pics and I've actually been to see a few of them. But I've never seen one that said this is it. Well she sent one on Monday that as soon as I seen the first pic, I said this is it. I wanted a house that had some yard, a deck a gentle slope to the lake and a dock with swim deck. Lori and I saw some houses last summer that were like this and really were fixed up nice. I don't even care what the inside of the house looks like this is it. I'm going to go see it and see what I can do about it getting it. I wanted a lake house that I could retire to and my family could enjoy also. Well see. Pray that everything goes well. If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be.
Cabins, Cabins, Cabins OH MY
For the past week or so Tiffany and I have been looking for cabins. Just let me say there are many nice ones out there. I mean nice! We found one. Copper Pines it's really nice and we are going to go there over the 4th. It will be fun. I love that our family gets along so well that we want to spend time together vacationing. We will have a great time enjoying the lake, cooking, eating, relaxing in the hot tub, and whatever else we decide to do.
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